She was mean and she had seashells in her hair! (dollsome) wrote,
She was mean and she had seashells in her hair!

Fanfiction Master List

30 Rock

01. any other woman on earth (Jack/Liz - 2/6/07)
Five reasons that Liz could never be Jack’s date, that no one could ever believe it (because she’s so grotesque).

02. who's scruffy looking? (Jack/Liz - 3/9/07)
Five reasons Liz thinks that maybe Jack is interested. You know. Like that.

03. lunch in an elevator (Jack/Liz - 11/11/07)
Liz, Jack, and an elevator. Poptart also included.

04. Is It A Sin, Is It A Crime, Yeah, Yeah, It Is (Jack/Liz - 10/24/08)
“Lemon,” Jack says, “there’s something about you that’s been troubling me lately, on a personal level.” Dun dun dunnnn.

05. Gorillas and Penguins And Bonding, Oh My - Or, How Tracy Jordan's Tongue Led to a Lovely Zoo Outing (Jack/Liz - 6/24/09)
When the going gets tough, agents Donaghy and Lemon retreat to the wild. Or, well. The zoo.

06. Settlingly Ever After (Or: Blame Brendan Fraser For Inconvenient Soulmatehood) (Liz/Wesley - 5/19/10)
"On the other side of attraction lies repulsion. And the other way around, I suppose. Come to think of it." In which a Saturday night showing of Furry Vengeance brings Liz and Wesley together, and they kinda just keep being brought together. Over, and over, and over ...

07. Darling, Can You Hear Me, S.O.S. (Or, This Was A Lot Sexier When It Happened On The Nanny) (Liz/Wesley - 7/19/10)
Liz and Wesley run into each other on a couples' cruise. And then get shipwrecked. Alone. Together.

08. burn, pine, perish (whatever) (Liz/Wesley - 3/15/11)
In which Wesley Snipes starts to bear an inconvenient resemblance to Colin Firth in the brain of one Elizabeth Bennet Lemon ...

09. my waxy valentine (Liz/Wesley - 3/19/11)
"This is a weird idea for a date," Liz announces.

Anne of Green Gables

01. Time stood still (we were moving too fast) (Anne/Gilbert - 3/25/09)
The wind makes the leaves whisper things, mischievous little encouragements that suggest – no, insist that this is the very sort of day that must be savored, like last pages or fresh fruit, and this is why Anne (even though some – ‘some’ here taking on the voice of Mrs. Rachel Lynde – might say sixteen is too old for such nonsense) races Gil to the Andrews’ house on the way to the picnic.

02. Love a loathed enemy (Anne/Gilbert - 9/4/09)
It's on the most wintery of days that Miss Stacy introduces them to Shakespeare.

03. The Great Earring Quest (Or, Puffed Sleeves Are So Last Season) (Anne/Gilbert - 7/22/10)
A pair of mother of pearl earrings sets Anne off on a rather dotty quest to get her ears pierced. Diana offers support and skepticism in equal measure, Marilla tsk-tsks, Matthew awkwardly says "well now" a lot, and Gilbert Blythe absolutely, completely, without a doubt hasn't the slightest bit of charm whatsoever. Really.

04. The stars are not wanted now (Anne/Gilbert - 7/13/11)
She stays in bed and looks out the window. A tiny square of outside world, beyond her House of Dreams. It should be more interesting, she thinks dimly. The sky, the trees, the distant hint of sea. They should mean something.

Battlestar Galactica

01. Keep You So (Gaius/Six - 7/15/09)
And he's left with no choice but to follow her. Five times Six intrigued Gaius before the attacks.

02. I only have eyes for you (Gaius/Six - 3/19/11)
"Fancy seeing you here."

Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel the Series

01. Distractions (Giles/Jenny - 3/10/07)
She introduces herself as Jenny and he insists upon calling her Ms. Calendar and she decides that he’s a snob and he mentally dubs her insufferable and that’s that, thank you very much.

02. Summer (Giles/Jenny - 3/20/07)
Here is her life, he thinks (stupidly), ready to be taken out and put back together again, and he is here standing with her. This is what it’s like to begin.

03. Watch Out For That Tree! (Or, Five Times Things Accidentally Rekindled Between Giles and Joyce) (Giles/Joyce - 6/19/07)
There are only so many times you can blame the band candy.

04. hey, mister wrong (Buffy/Spike - 6/20/07)
Spike has this really inconvenient tendency to make Buffy’s fantasies rebel against her.

05. Making Sense (Xander/Anya - 6/27/07)
A walk home, and the start of something.

06. I'm Not Calling You A Zombie (Just Don't Eat My Flesh) (Angel, Cordelia, & Wesley - 7/7/10)
After going to see a zombie movie, Cordelia points out the resemblances between Angel and a certain species of yucky undead flesh eaters. Wesley doesn't really help to dissuade her. Angel is distressed (but has good hair).

07. Looks and Books (Cordelia/Wesley - 9/15/10)
Experimentally, she tries to look at him like she had a year or so ago. Which is to say, like a viable sexual candidate rather than the world's most remarkable prig/dork hybrid.

08. O Come All Ye Doofish (Angel, Cordelia, & Wesley - 11/21/10)
Christmas cheer meets Angel Investigations. Kinda.

09. A Fine Foemance (Wesley/Lilah - 12/8/10)
In which rogue demon hunter Wesley decides that seducing one of Wolfram & Hart's top lawyers is a brilliant tactical move, Lilah is more amused than she'd expected to be, and Cordy just wants Wesley to shut up about the torrid details of his love life. Preferably ASAP.

10. Oh, and when will our heartbeats fall into line? (Wes/Lilah, Wes/Fred, Fred/Gunn - 12/13/10)
It's not always about holding hands.

11. Had we but world enough, and time (Giles/Jenny - 8/11/11)
Giles, Jenny, and date night (of a sort) in the library.

12. Let's write a song for us (and sing it 'til we're old and gray) (Giles/Jenny - 8/12/11)
Six things that never happened to Jenny Calendar.

13. No Girl So Sweet (Lilah/Fred - 8/20/11)
AU. Wolfram & Hart rescue Fred from Pylea. Lilah gets to babysit.

14. Starstruck (Wes/Cordy - 8/20/11)
Wes and Cordy, on the red carpet.

15. Five People Cordelia Chase Never Fell In Love With (Cordelia/Various - 8/20/11)
A girl's gotta have standards.

16. Some love small enough (Buffy/Spike - 8/20/11)
"Are you watching me sleep??"


01. Even Twinkies Expire Sometime, Or: The Repercussions of Random Kissing (Jeff/Annie - 11/13/09)
In which kissing is misinterpreted, hole punches are dangerous, Annie has a bountiful list of reasons for her behaviour, and Jeff has a tough, tough time.

02. I tried to be chill (but you're so hot that I melted) (Jeff/Annie - 7/31/10)
It's the first study group session of the fall semester, and Jeff and Annie are the only ones who show up on time. Cue the awkwardest silence known to man.

03. O brave new world (Jeff/Annie - 11/9/10)
Jeff, Annie, and New Year's Eve the Greendale way.

04. El tango de sexual tension (Britta/Troy, Ensemble - 11/28/10)
It is, at least, better than the teapot recital.

05. getting dirty (Jeff/Annie - 3/19/11)
"See!" Annie says, but with zero pep. She looks terrible. And when Annie looks terrible, the apocalypse is nigh. "That wasn't so ... bad ..."

06. Seize The Underage Fellow Student Day! (Jeff/Annie - 6/9/11)
It's supposed to be a hug. A hug.

Doctor Who

01. somewhere i have never traveled (Ten/Rose - 2/2/08)
His fingers fit with hers just right.

02. last man (?) in the world (Ten/Donna - 5/19/08)
The Doctor and Donna's 'not a couple' routine does not entirely convince one Miss Jane Austen. Donna is distressed; the Doctor gets to hear about it.

03. Sweets for the sweet, or: What not to do whilst battling aliens (unless you’re the Doctor or Dr. Song) (Eleven/River - 5/9/11)
The Doctor, River, and mortal peril. Naturally, flirting ensues.

04. Your firsts are my lasts (Doctor/River - 6/13/11)
Oh dear, she thinks, I believe I might love you a little, and that seems as good a reason as any to lean forward and kiss him.

05. You're Just My Cup Of Tea, Or: Domesticity Is Setting In (Eleven/River - 6/14/11)
The Doctor, River, and teacups. Flirting ensues! Again, some more.

06. my hero (Eleven & River - 8/20/11)
She's still young, when he gets to her.

07. The Weight of Us (Amy, Rory, River; Amy/Rory - 8/31/11)
Amy Pond, and motherhood.

08. Let It Be Awkward (Amy, Rory, River, & Eleven - 12/9/11)
In which the Ponds get woken up in the middle of the night, River wears a smashing dress, the Doctor does not wear enough, and potassium is discussed.


01. Your heart is an empty room (DeWitt/Dominic - 3/28/09)
Adelle ponders things even more incomprehensible than lentils.

02. The Troublesome Power of Inappropriate Starches (DeWitt/Dominic - 3/31/09)
A particularly stressful day drives Adelle into the (figurative) arms of a bag of potato chips. Unfortunately, she just so happens to get caught in the act.

03. Rid of me (DeWitt/Dominic - 4/20/09)
The bullet wound will scar. Adelle, and the aftermath of "A Spy in the House of Love."

04. Walking Slow (Boyd/Echo - 4/29/09)
Waking up feels funny, a little.

05. Lines (Victor/Sierra - 5/31/09)
Victor, Sierra, and crayons.

06. Unstable Elements (DeWitt/Dominic - 7/19/09)
Adelle and Dominic have a little chat about the Dollhouse's new technician.

07. This is a gift, it comes with a price (DeWitt/Dominic - 8/17/09)
A quiet moment, and an unanticipated conversation.

08. Hang our pretty things (DeWitt/Dominic - 10/24/2009)
How looming, how monstrous she’s become. A good thing. It aids in keeping up at least some semblance of order. (She did not set out to become this way.) Adelle dreams. Set after "Belonging."

09. My body is a cage (DeWitt/Dominic - 1/10/10)
My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love. Adelle and Dominic. In which fourteen years pass, and some connections never do quite fade.

10. One's Your Foe and One's Your Flame (DeWitt/Dominic - 1/16/10)
What would have happened if Dominic hadn't been caught in "A Spy in the House of Love"?

11. There's a somebody I'm longing to see (DeWitt/Dominic - 1/22/10)
Mr. Dominic performs a chivalrous rescue; Adelle is suitably grateful.

12. Jim and Pam Wish They Could Pull Off The Powerwalk (In Which The Dollhouse Is Plagued By The Work-Married Phenomenon, At Least According To Topher) (Dewitt/Dominic - 1/22/10)
"Ugh, Topher, don’t tell me you’re reading the relationships section of Yahoo again." Yes. Yes, he is.

13. Wrap my arms around him & pretend (Adelle/Victor - 1/26/10)
Miss Lonelyhearts has one last go. A prelude to “Stop Loss.”

14. Prove My Love (Professionally Speaking) (DeWitt/Dominic - 1/28/10)
If you try to woo Adelle DeWitt, Laurence Dominic might actually kill you. Like, for real. (A tale of classy British imprints, vexed Heads of Security, and Dollhouse behaving in an overall disquietingly romcom-esque fashion, complete with fabulous gay guy interlude.)

15. In The Time That We Have (DeWitt/Dominic - 3/18/10)
Dominic pays a visit to Safe Haven.

16. Promise what you will (DeWitt/Dominic - 7/7/10)
"I had a dollhouse when I was a child," Adelle tells you, smiling wanly.

17. Trouble sleeping (DeWitt/Dominic - 9/15/10)
For awhile after Alpha escapes, Dominic dreams about the dolls he killed.

18. Electra on azalea path (Claire/Topher - 11/8/10)
She told him once that she couldn't stand the smell of him.

19. A Very Wrong Engagement (DeWitt/Dominic - 11/22/10)
“I do wonder,” Adelle says, as soon as Mr. Dominic has shown their latest client out, “how one might acquire that much Jello without attracting suspicion.”

20. memento mori (DeWitt/Dominic - 3/19/11)
"I think I preferred Arizona," Adelle says wanly.

21. how to grow a woman from the ground (Topher/Claire - 8/2/11)
It's one thing to whip 'em up and send 'em out on their merry way. It's another thing to have them right here, like, all the time.

22. A girl mad as birds (Ensemble - 8/2/11)
There once was a girl with brown eyes who could be anyone but herself.

23. 'til we crumble to dust and are crushed (DeWitt/Dominic - 12/4/11)
“Aren’t you supposed to be hiding out in a hole somewhere?” Or, Dominic and Topher have a heartwarming chat.

Downton Abbey

01. And she waiting (Anna/Bates - 7/13/11)
Anna and Bates discuss Daisy's unfortunate infatuation with Thomas. (Though perhaps the discussion's not entirely about Daisy and Thomas.)

02. as you both shall live (Robert/Cora - 8/20/11)
She steps, quite new, into his old world.

03. To A Happier Year (Thomas/Edward - 10/3/11)
You're lucky I trust you. Thomas takes Lieutenant Courtenay on an outing.

04. Do No Harm (O'Brien/Cora - 11/9/11)
She’s weak still, for all she says about feeling much better.

05. I tell my love to wreck it all (Mary, Matthew, & Lavinia - 12/2/11)
It always seems to come down to surviving the night, and Lavinia does, against all odds.

Gemma Doyle Trilogy

01. Start and Tremble (Felicity/Pippa - 10/4/09)
Felicity ponders many things, but mostly Pippa.

02. Borne aloft or sinking as the light wind lives or dies (Sarah/Mary - 11/9/09)
For Sarah Rees-Toome, retribution takes a most peculiar course.

03. fear no more the heat o' the sun (Felicity/Pippa - 3/19/11)
The heat is excruciating.

Gilmore Girls

01. Concerning Addiction (Luke/Lorelai - 1/3/07)
She flies up to the counter, like a (relatively attractive) bat out of (an uncommonly generous) hell and slams the mug down with what he suspects could be called righteous fury.

02. Resurrecting Chivalry (Luke/Lorelai - 5/21/07)
"This is the dumbest thing you've ever made me do."

03. a many-splendored thing (Luke/Lorelai - 10/3/07)
Lorelai discusses the repercussions of watching Moulin Rouge before bed. Luke gets to listen.

04. as time goes by (Luke/Lorelai - 10/17/07)
Five times Luke and Lorelai kissed (or wanted to) before Raincoats & Recipes.

05. ask me, i won't say no (how could i?) (Rory/Jess - 2/7/08)
Sixteen, she reminds herself, was a long time ago.

06. come on, baby, light stare into my fire (Luke/Lorelai - 6/24/08)
Luke. Lorelai. Camping.

07. Boy Oh Boy Bands!: The Precise Science of Poster-Picking (Richard/Emily - 3/18/10)
In the early days of Friday Night Dinnerdom, Emily and Richard try to determine which boy band will earn them the most cool grandparent street cred with Rory. Bless their hearts for trying. Really, really hard.

08. Did My Heart Love 'Til Now (Or, Bookworms Who Love Bookworms Are The Luckiest Bookworms) (Rory/Jess - 7/16/10)
A book sale, banter, and one of those rare moments where Jess Mariano seems like the world's actual greatest boyfriend.

09. You Say Tomato, I Say Doritos, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off (Or Not) (Luke/Lorelai - 7/17/10)
In which Luke likes spinach, Lorelai obstinately digs her junk food, and bickering runs rampant. Very, very rampant.

10. the mad ones (Rory/Logan - 9/15/10)
Sometimes with Logan, she catches herself wondering where she went.

11. Lorelai Gilmore, Nursemaid Extraordinaire (or: Florence Nightingale Wishes She Had These Moves) (Lorelai & Emily, 10/10/10)
Emily is sick. Lorelai brings her soup. In a totally non-gloaty fashion.

12. i don't rap about bitches 'n hos, i rap about witches 'n trolls (Lorelai & Rory - 12/22/10)
“I’m just saying, it could be considered a little creepy.”

13. The Shower Curtains Have (Hippo) Eyes, Or: Why Interior Designing To Torment Your Spouse Is Never A Good Idea In The Long Run (Luke/Lorelai - 8/20/11)
The way Lorelai sees it is: where's the fun in married life if you can't periodically screw with the head of the man to whom you're bound for all eternity?


01. no, they can't take that away from me (Will/Terri - 12/22/10)
Terri shows up the way she always does: out of nowhere, when he’s feeling like crap.

02. beauty and family (Brittany/Santana - 3/15/11)
"The cat's not speaking to me," Brittany says.

03. Let your love grow tall (Brittany/Santana - 3/16/11)
Everything's easy when you never have to choose -- or, Brittany's side of the story.

04. don't drown (Brittany/Santana - 3/19/11)
Santana is sitting in the bathroom with her pajama pants rolled up to the knee and her feet in the tub, staring at tiny bottles of hotel shampoo. Little bars of hotel soap. She splashes her feet in the water and likes that, that weird blend of cutesy and violent.

05. feeling is first (Brittany/Santana - 6/9/11)
Santana wasn't Brittany's first kiss, but Brittany was Santana's.

Harry Potter

01. sweet and half-forgotten (Harry/Ginny - 8/23/05)
“I’m not trying to seduce you,” Ginny says, eyes sparkling and hand clutched behind her back as Harry closes the bedroom door behind them. “I promise.”

02. 28 steps to happily ever after (Ron/Hermione, Harry Ginny - 1/27/07)
In which lonely Valentine's Days lead to disasterous February 15ths, Hermione rocks that denial, Ron wallows in misery, and Harry and Ginny decide to mercifully play matchmaker.

03. Rubbish (Ron/Hermione - 7/11/07)
Rita Skeeter's first article on the Triwizard Tournament leaves Ron distressed, Hermione bewildered, and both of them particularly inclined to bicker.

04. Enlightenment (Remus/Sirius - 7/17/07)
Tonks is smitten, Remus is oblivious, and Sirius is determined to enlighten him.

05. Repose (Snape/Lily - 7/22/07)
The summer breeze is gentle across his face; he opens his eyes to sun and green.

06. hollow, like lines (Remus/Sirius, Remus/Tonks - 7/23/07)
The fact remains that she is miserable and he is empty and there is nothing left to lose.

07. Letters (Harry, Ron, & Hermione - 1/7/08)
The summer after their first year at Hogwarts, Harry, Ron, and Hermione endure returning home, being apart, and a certain unfortunate inability to communicate.

08. wish you were here (Ron/Hermione - 3/19/11)
Lavender is fantastic at finding broom closets to snog in.

09. you're my favourite book (Ron/Hermione - 6/11/11)
She goes extra-mad in libraries, Hermione. Ron's always enjoyed watching it. This time's no exception.

10. Lean on me (platonically) (Ron/Hermione - 7/8/11)
Ron never knows what to do when she cries.

How I Met Your Mother

01. Bromanian Rhapsody (Barney/Robin - 2/23/08)
In the wake of Ted meeting The Mother, Barney prepares to lose his wingman to the evils of monogamy once and for all. Robin gets to console him.

02. feet touch the ground (Barney/Robin - 4/29/08)
Robin deals with the events of "The Goat," in true Scherbatsky style.

03. through and through (Barney/Robin - 5/6/08)
Barney and Robin patch things up.

04. Undazzled (Marshall/Lily - 11/9/08)
Marshall makes a horrific discovery.

05. He's A Magic Man - Or, Barney Started The Fire (Barney/Robin - 4/4/09)
While busting out his magic skills, a drunken Barney has a slight fire incident. Robin comes to the rescue.

06. I know you get me (so I let my walls come down) (Barney/Robin - 11/12/10)
In which Barney is sad, Robin is awesome, and being with her makes it kind of easy to stop being sad and be awesome instead.

Legend of the Seeker

01. Just for tonight, darling, let's get lost (Richard/Kahlan - 11/28/10)
Richard, Kahlan, and 'gathering firewood.'


01. Heart Knows Calm (Sawyer/Juliet - 3/5/09)
They shack up together, him and Juliet, and soon he memorizes the way her footsteps sound against the floor.

02. All this time I've loved you and never known your face (Sawyer/Juliet - 5/15/09)
An encounter.

03. Home, let me come home (Kate/Sawyer - 8/6/10)
Kate needs to run away for awhile. Sawyer tags along.


01. Your Mouth Is Lovely (Not That I'm Looking) (Arthur/Morgana - 11/9/08)
One of the king's knights has got it bad for Morgana, and Arthur thinks it's hilarious. At first.

02. What is right drives itself through skin (Uther - 11/9/08)
He does not doubt, does not allow himself to doubt.

03. Warm in my heart (Uther/Morgana - 10/14/09)
She tells herself she does not know how deep his love runs; that it must be shallower than it seems. Too shallow to withstand the truth of her.

04. A Green Knight In Prince Arthur's Court, Or: Boys Are Stupid, Throw Rocks At Them | Part One, Part Two, Part Three (11/4/09)
In which the Green Knight proposes a beheading game, all the men in Camelot go bonkers, and it is, at long last, Gwen and Morgana’s turn to save the day.

05. Full of ghosts (Morgana/Arthur; Morgana/Merlin; Morgana/Uther; Morgana/Gwen; Morgana/Morgause - 6/18/10)
I cannot say what loves have come and gone. Morgana dreams of what she's lost. (Or, alternately: Morgana makes out with everybody.)

06. It won't be long until you break (Morgana - 7/2/10)
For a long time, every breath seems a wonder.

07. For the flame, for home again (Arthur/Morgana - 7/7/10)
Arthur pays Morgana a late night visit.

08. La belle dame sans merci (Uther/Morgana - 7/18/10)
Morgana returns to Camelot.

09. And love is a tired symphony (Arthur/Gwen - 8/18/10)
He was once quite good at making her laugh. Now she is mostly smiles: soft and lovely, quietly regal. Lips but no teeth. She has made herself beloved by the kingdom over the years and he is glad of that.

10. Melon Folly and the Infinite Strangeness (Or, Be Careful Where You Point Your Love Spells) (Merlin/Arthur - 8/19/10)
In which Morgana’s evil plan to bring down Camelot with a love spell does not go exactly according to plan, and Merlin is suddenly getting a lot of attention from Arthur.

11. The only shape I pray to (Uther/Morgana, 10/9/10)
And you, Uther, you will go to hell.

12. The coward does it with a kiss (Morgana, 10/17/10)
One does not recover from being poisoned all at once.

13. Kindred (Merlin/Morgana, 10/24/10)
She likes Merlin knowing. Like most beautiful girls, she has always enjoyed an audience.

14. It's not easy having yourself a good time (Merlin/Morgana, 11/9/10)
In which Merlin uses his stalker skills for good, and Morgana is really grumpy about it.

15. grace is a gift for the fallen, dear (Uther/Morgana, 12/23/10)
The king falls ill, and the news sweeps the land. Even its dark corners.

16. once and future (Merlin/Morgana, 12/23/10)
“You’ve mellowed in your old age,” Merlin remarks.

17. Gwen Can't Be On Duty All The Time (Merlin/Arthur, 6/9/11)
You prat, you big stupid prat, how many times am I going to have to watch you die? Or: it's not easy being Merlin.

18. This love will be your downfall (Merlin/Morgana, 7/13/11)
Merlin, Morgana, and five moments that will come true.

19. This young war will war for years (Morgana, 10/2/11)
There is always, always the matter of sacrifice.

20. no one to warn me, no hand to touch me (Morgana, 10/17/11)
She feels it.

21. And I am done with my graceless heart (Gwen/Morgana, 11/27/11)
It’s always darkest before the dawn. (Or, Gwen and Morgana reunite at long last.)

Modern Family

01. promising light (Ensemble - 3/11/10)
A follow-up to “Truth Be Told.” Of lackluster Hugh Grant movies, scary psycho devil women, siblingly vengeance, prospective turtle names, and good mornings (at long last).

02. I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor (Phil/Claire - 3/18/10)
"Oh my God, you and Dad together suddenly makes so much sense." Phil, Claire, and dancing: a history.

03. You're the key for winding up my heart (Phil/Claire; Mitchell/Cam; Jay/Gloria - 9/30/10)
Three big moments.

04. breaking & entering: (the start of) a love story (Mitchell/Cam - 6/9/11)
"Oh my God," Mitchell says, "this is insane."

05. The Crappiest Place on Earth (Mitchell/Cam - 12/1/11)
Cam vs. Disneyland.

The Nanny

01. Happy Birthday Baby, Or: Life Is Bleak For Butlers & The Lovelorn (Niles/C.C. - 8/25/10)
In which five birthdays are unsatisfactory, Niles is bitter (and a little bit evil), C.C. is bitter (and a little bit evil), and at least they've got each other. To torture.

The Office

01. Between Friends (Jim/Pam - 10/14/06)
Jim, Pam, and old-school denial. Featuring classic romantic comedy references!

02. Crazy (Michael/Jan - 10/14/06)
Jan knows – very, very well – that Michael drives her out of her mind.

03. Hung Up (Or - The Mysterious Absence of The Dundies in Season Three) (Michael/Jan - 10/18/06)
Michael tries to cope with a traumatic loss. Jan gets to deal with it.

04. Five Reasons Michael's Glad He Picked Carol (Michael/Jan - 10/21/06)
Jan can be bitchy. Michael doesn’t want to offend anyone or anything, but that’s just a fact.

05. Nobody's Business But The People Involved? (Ensemble - 11/04/06)
The Scranton employees offer their input on that timeless question: Jan or Carol?

06. Wanton Faux Professionalism (Angela, Michael/Jan - 11/6/06)
The paper industry is no place for a shameless femme fatale. That much should be obvious, and yet Angela can’t help suspecting that she’s the only one who sees it.

07. certainty and cold hard fact (Michael/Jan - 11/11/06)
Sometimes it feels like her whole life has come to revolve around Michael Scott. The thought makes her ill and a little light-headed, and usually drives her to the nearest pack of cigarettes.

08. Brokeback (Dunder) Mifflin? (Ensemble - 11/19/06)
It's Halloween at the office, and, drawing his costume inspiration from a certain Ledger-and-Gyllenhaal flick, Michael wishes he knew how to quit Ryan. Everyone else just wishes they knew how to quit. Featuring Dwight's Lost obsession, increasingly pissed-off!Jan, and a paper mâché head!

09. since feeling is first (Pam; Jim/Pam, Pam/Roy, Pam/Karen, Pam/Toby - 12/19/06)
In which Pam lets go, crawls back, finds something she wasn't looking for, and finally gets her happily ever after. Sort of.

10. in spite of me (Ryan/Kelly - 12/23/06)
In which Ryan slowly falls for Kelly. In his own bleak, Ryan-y way.

11. aren't we a pair? (Oscar/Gil, Michael/Jan - 12/23/06)
Gil tags along to Dunder Mifflin Scranton's Welcome Back Oscar! Fiesta, and Michael winds up finding an unexpected new friend. (Or, more specifically, friend slash would-be-lover-in-an-alternate-universe.)

12. against the gloom and the fluorescent lights (Jim/Pam - 12/28/06)
It takes three days for Jim to decide that the new receptionist is pretty much the greatest girl ever.

13. Office Strange Love (Or, How Dwight Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Angela) (Dwight/Angela - 1/1/07)
The Jedi must not know love. Volunteer sheriff's deputies should be no different.

14. well then i like seeing you at bedtime (Jim/Karen, Ryan/Kelly, Michael/Jan, Dwight/Angela, Pam/Toby - 1/8/07)
Pillow talk, or something like it.

15. so hold on (Ryan/Kelly, Toby/Pam, Jim/Karen, Michael/Jan, Dwight/Angela - 1/14/07)
'Cause everybody hurts sometimes.

16. The Weekend Pastimes and Practices of Dwight K. Schrute (Dwight/Angela - 1/20/07)
Five o'clock on Friday rolls around, and the first thing Dwight does when he gets home is spend some time out in the fields, amongst the beets. It centers him. Makes him remember who he is and where he comes from. Inspires him more than any power rock ballad ever could. (Except Don't Stop Believin'.)

17. why the fruit is forbidden (Angela, Oscar/Angela, Dwight/Angela, Roy/Angela - 1/28/07)
Five times Angela wishes she were a little bit whorish.

18. step away from me, michael (Ensemble; Jan/Michael, Jim/Pam, Oscar/Gil - 2/2/07)
Five people who have considered obtaining restraining orders against Michael Scott.

19. the brave soul (Pam; Jim/Pam, Pam/Toby, Roy/Pam - 2/16/07)
There are certain paintings she leaves out. She doesn't like looking at them; they feel like accidents more than anything else.

20. Best Day Ever? (Ryan/Kelly - 2/19/07)
Sitting roughly four feet away from Kelly from nine to five -- take one. (Godspeed, Mr. Howard. Godspeed.)

21. love & marriage? (Jim/Dwight - 3/20/07)
“Will you,” Jim asks solemnly, “marry me?”

22. your own kind of music (Ensemble; Jim/Pam - 4/20/07)
Andy beatboxes, Kelly enlists Oscar in the support of a different Ryan, Angela is appropriately scandalized, Michael decides that votes are like paper, and Pam over-identifies with Jim's sensitive guy music. This . . . is what happens when your author watches too much American Idol.

23. auf wiedersehen, darling (Jim/Karen - 4/27/07)
Jim and Karen discover that The Sound of Music just isn't quite as cheerful when you're a grown-up.

24. just like the movies (Ryan/Kelly - 4/27/07)
When it rains, it pours. And makes Kelly want to reenact The Notebook.

25. cavorting back and forth between sodom and gomorrah (Angela, Oscar - 5/23/07)
When Angela comes in on Monday muttering viciously about kitchen fires and derelicts, Oscar can’t really help but be morbidly intrigued.

26. Accidental Harmony (Just Call Them Grant & Barrymore) (Andy/Kelly - 6/21/07)
Five impromptu duets between Kelly Kapoor and Andy Bernard.

27. My Wonderwall (JAM!!! - 6/21/07)
Five reasons why Jim and Pam are meant to be!!!!1

28. l'amour fou (Kelly/Andy - 6/26/07)
Kelly and Andy watch Marie Antoinette. Discussion ensues.

29. Chivalry and the Citrus-Flavored Beverage (Or, Andy Bernard's Quest for Wall-Punching Redemption) (Kelly/Andy - 7/2/07)
Ryan returns, to the great distress of everyone. Andy tries to ease the suffering.

30. something like star-crossed (Kelly/Andy - 7/5/07)
Andy introduces Kelly to the wonderful world of Star Wars.

31. Friday Night's Alright (For Dating) (Kelly/Andy - 8/18/07)
Kelly sets Andy up on a blind date with a friend. Things don't quite go according to plan. Also, there's lots of instant messaging.

32. solidarity for the lovelorn (Karen, Toby, Jim/Pam, Jim/Karen, Pam/Toby - 9/1/07)
Turns out, it kinda sucks to stand on the sidelines of other peoples' happily ever afters.

33. love is a burnin' thing (Michael/Jan - 9/6/07)
It’s Thanksgiving, and when Jan tries to cook, the situation heats up. On account of the flames. Lucky Michael.

34. homecoming and other horror stories (Ryan, Ryan/Kelly, Ryan/Michael - 9/6/07)
Ryan’s return to the Scranton branch doesn’t go exactly as planned, which he probably should’ve seen coming.

35. the things you could get used to (Ryan/Kelly - 9/11/07)
Ryan, Kelly, and one of those instances that should make him want to run like hell.

36. ever afters (Ryan/Kelly, Michael/Jan, Dwight/Angela, Jim/Pam - 9/16/07)
Endings, angry dogs, beet fields, and beginnings. In that order. (The romantic aftermath of The Job.)

37. leavin' on your mind (Karen - 9/21/07)
This is how Karen's last week in Scranton goes--

38. there's such a thing as good grief (Angela, Mose - 10/5/07)
Angela finds an unlikely source of (something that vaguely resembles) comfort.

39. finer things (or lack thereof) (Pam/Toby - 9/5/08)
The Finer Things Club does Sense & Sensibility.

40. know it by heart (Ryan/Kelly - 9/14/08)
It's his first night in jail, and Ryan's thinking about Kelly. Not that he wants to be.

41. the ups and downs of next to you (Oscar & Angela - 9/20/08)
Four times Angela wants to move away from Oscar, and one time she's glad that she's where she is.

42. a grown up woman should never fall so easily (Ryan/Kelly - 11/9/08)
The New And Improved Ryan Howard tries to win Kelly over via voluntary karaoke participation. It doesn't really work.

43. deserving something (Oscar/Andy - 11/14/08)
It's Andy's bachelor party, and Oscar's not really enjoying it. Neither is Andy.

44. if my wishes can all come true (Andy/Angela - 11/16/08)
Andy and Angela discuss Halloween costumes.

45. or am i standing still (Michael/Holly - 11/17/08)
Michael, Holly, and moving on.

46. Sleepover - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (Ensemble - 11/22-11/23/08)
Michael decides to have a sleepover at the office. Shenanigans ensue.

47. Gosh, Your Lips Look Delicious, Or Not (Kelly - 3/9/2009)
Kelly does some vodka-addled thinking.

48. Symmetry or something (Kelly/Erin - 6/24/09)
Ryan does a number on Kelly's emotional well being, again. This time, Kelly finds a new solution.

49. It's Complicated & Stupid (Oscar/Andy - 9/9/09)
Andy is drunk, and he has a proposition.

50. An Engagement To Not Entirely Forget (Andy/Erin; Andy/Angela - 1/2/10)
The depths of Andy's Erin-pining drive him to Nicholas Sparks.

51. A Bit of Both (Oscar/Gabe - 8/28/10)
Oscar and Gabe vie for Warehouse Hottie Matt's affections. It's hard to say who does worse.

52. but you're MY hot mess (Ryan/Kelly - 1/20/11)
Upon the morning of February 13, 2011 ...

Parks & Recreation

01. and did you tell billy you loved him? did you say, 'billy, i love you'? (Leslie/Ann - 12/22/10)
They’re having a post-relationship rundown. That’s what Leslie keeps calling it. It sounds better than Depressing Post-Breakup Wallow Night.

02. i just can't quit you, shoeshine guy (April/Andy - 12/23/10)
April doesn’t really get why people are so confused by her gay-boyfriend-and-his-boyfriend situation. Usually it’s really annoying watching them figure it out. But, like, not always.

03. better half (Leslie/Ann - 6/11/11)
Ann, Leslie, and grocery shopping.

Pirates of the Caribbean

01. Shrouded Heart (Jack/Elizabeth - 7/14/06)
Jack Sparrow leaves a taste for adventure in her blood.

02. a far better fate (Norrington/Elizabeth - 5/30/07)
"Our destinies have been entwined, Elizabeth, but never joined." Three ways the story could have gone.

03. ice and fire (Norrington/Elizabeth - 7/12/07)
Five times Elizabeth thinks that James Norrington is perhaps a fate worth exploring.

04. This level reach of blue is not my sea (Jack/Elizabeth - 1/5/10)
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm. Elizabeth, just after At World's End.

Road to Avonlea

01. Everything in the sky (Alec/Janet - 7/12/11)
Five sweet moments.

02. And To All A Good Fight (Alec/Janet, ensemble - 12/2/11)
It’s Janet’s first Christmas with the King family, and Hetty has a bit of trouble relinquishing control of the traditional King Family Christmas Eve Supper. Meanwhile, Alec hides in the barn.

Robin Hood

01. in yearning (Guy/Marian - 10/19/07)
He wishes – not for the first time in her presence – that he had some grace with words. He yearns for the easy immediacy of action; there is no hesitation, no mystery in the clink of silver or the spill of blood – in a kiss. He knows better than to touch her, and half-wishes he didn’t.

02. lust (Guy/Marian - 11/11/07)
And there is a fascination that she wishes she could extinguish--

03. Absolution (Guy/Marian - 11/28/07)
He is not a good man, not by any means, but the possibility of it seems to thrum in her bones tonight.

04. Blooming (Guy/Marian - 11/08/09)
At last, spring comes; when Sir Guy asks her to accompany him on a walk, she can come up with no good excuse not to.

True Blood

01. I think clapping is how hands mourn (Russell/Talbot - 9/13/10)
Since he’s been left alone with his grief, Russell decides his grief might as well keep him company.

02. Plant your hope with good seeds (Bill/Lorena - 9/14/10)
Perfect Southern belle though she may seem (swooshing skirts, soft drawls), Lorena likes a proper winter.

03. Love and marriage and marriage (Russell, Talbot, Sophie-Anne - 9/15/10)
In which Talbot and Sophie-Anne aren't exactly wild about the idea of being co-married to the Vampire King of Mississippi.


01. & baby, when it's love (Bella/Jacob - 7/2/10)
She’s kind of into baby steps, as far as this whole happiness thing goes.

02. Are You There, God? It's Me, Edward (Edward/Bella's blood - 9/3/10)
In which it is a certain time of the month for Bella, and even Edward Cullen has trouble being a gentleman sometimes.

03. we were sixteen, maybe less (Jacob/Bella - 9/15/10)
Jacob looks at home in her truck.

04. How Bellward Got Their Groove (Or At Least Kinda Tried) (Edward/Bella - 11/16/11)
After an unsuccessful double date with Jessica and Mike, Edward and Bella set out to prove to the world that they aren't relationship snobs. This quest is hindered a little bit by the fact that they totally, totally are.


01. Morning song (Xena/Gabrielle - 11/28/10)
'I sing of Xena!' Gabrielle declares, her tones too cheerfully epic for early hours of the morning. 'Fiercest of warriors, boldest of champions--'
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